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MAKING THE MOST OF GROUP MEETINGS
SUGGESTIONS FOR KEEPING A MEETING BALANCE
Often in a formal meeting, after the call to order, a roll call is taken whereby each member in attendance informs the group that she or he is present. The Check-in process is similar to a roll call, but it goes beyond acknowledging physical attendance. During Check-in, each person in sequence briefly describes his or her current physical, emotional and mental states. Thus each person is essentially answering roll call with his or her whole self. By having group members totally present at meetings, discussions can stay "on track", be more productive and take less time.
Before the Check-in process starts, the group needs to determine:
The sequence in which people speak
This can be decided by the seating arrangement. If the group is sitting in a circle, the sequence can move in one direction around the circle until everyone has spoken. If someone enters the circle during Check-in and is by-passed by the sequence, then that person can speak after everyone has finished.
The individual who begins
This person may differ at each meeting. When first working with this process at the beginning of a meeting, the starting person could be the one who reminds people to keep their statements focused on their personal feelings and ideas, omitting statements about things, events and other people. As well as keeping the group focused on the Check-in theme, the starting person may need to remind listeners to refrain from questions or comments until after Check-in. The starting person can also ensure that everyone has an opportunity to Check-in.
The theme of the Check-in
The theme decides the focus for the group members' personal thoughts and feelings. To bring people fully present, focus on how they are feeling at the moment.
By having Check-in as a part of each meeting after centering and visualization, group members learn to speak from their place of center. As the Check-in periods continue, everyone begins to appreciate and understand the unique qualities of the group. People feel more free to express their deeper ideas and feelings. The group members begin to feel safe enough to express their creativity. They begin to experience a deeper sense of commitment to the purpose of the group. Attitudes and energy for the task at hand become heightened. The group can begin to function as a caring, energetic family.
Also group members benefit individually. The opportunity not only to express personal thoughts and feelings, but also to have them listened to by others, allows people to feel respected and their self-esteem raises. The possibility for contention greatly diminishes when people feel good about themselves. By learning to operate from center, individuals can enrich other areas of their lives.
Check-in Promotes Deep Listening
Check-in time provides an opportunity to learn to listen deeply. Deep Listening is possible when people have cleared their minds of all distractions and focus their hearts and attention completely on the person speaking without thinking about any responses whatsoever. The deep listener's purpose is to learn pure listening.
WHEN DEEP LISTENING BECOMES A NATURAL PART OF THE WAY PEOPLE INTERACT,
THEN MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING, TRUST AND REWARDING COMMUNICATION FLOURISH EVEN WHEN DIFFERENCES ARISE
CHECK-IN
Important Member Roles
For a well coordinated meeting, members might consider having four roles filled:
a FOCALIZER who keeps the group on task;
a SCRIBE who records the proceedings;
a TIME-KEEPER who reminds the group about time allowance; and
a KEEPER OF THE HEART who sees that everyone stays centered.
Different people each meeting can fulfill these roles.
The Talking Stick
Find an object easily held in one hand (a stone, a feather, a pencil. etc) to be the talking stick. The group needs to decide how the talking stick will be passed. Either the person talking can decide to whom to pass it or, to be more fair, the group can decide to pass it in a certain sequence. Only the person holding the talking stick speaks. Everyone else listens. When everything the talker wants to share has been said, then the talking stick is passed to another person. If a person has nothing to say then he/she may pass on the stick. Indigenous peoples use this process so everyone has an equal chance to speak. It benefits the group in that shy people with valuable ideas are given an opportunity to express themselves and those who are quick to speak have the opportunity to learn the value of listening.
The Clearing Process
If dissention arises, this process "clears the air." It is based on the ideas that diversity is richness and everyone has unique contributions to make. Clearing works best one to one when two dissenters clear in private using an optional moderator or not. In a group, the Clearing Process works best after everyone centers. An optional visualization of a world in which everyone is valued the same and there are no inequalities could be offered. The time available should be free of limits. Everyone must agree that anything said will never be passed on to others not present or used against the dissenters. Each involved dissenter has an opportunity to speak with the talking stick. When speaking, all sentences should be "I" sentences ("I believe", "I heard", "I think", etc.) so that personal responsibility is made clear. Others remain centered and use deep listening. After each dissenter has spoken once, the stick is passed again so each can express anything that came up after hearing the other dissenter/s. The stick is passed until each dissenter feels he or she has expressed everything relevant. The talking stick can then be passed to people who have been deep listening to summarize what they understand is at the root of the dissention. Still using the talking stick, the dissenters can express what they believe is a fair settlement. Remaining centered the resolution can be made either by the dissenters alone or with the help of those deep listening.
Constructing a Resolution
The object of this process is to move dissenters away from a "stuck" position and towards a win/win solution. The dissenters need to agree to having a moderator who will ask the questions. Each dissenter will respond before going on to the next question. This is best done while everyone is centered and observers are deep listening. The questions may be repeated until the root of the issue comes to the surface. The questions are:
What is it you really want ?
What is it that you are truly worried about ?
What do you feel should happen now ?
Moderator and listeners can help the dissenters identify values that they share in common. From these values a win/win resolution can be constructed.
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