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TIPS ON HOLDING SUCCESSFUL MEETINGS
Most group meetings start with some kind of call to order to get everyone's attention. If the centering process is used to begin a meeting, the group members are simply calling their own attention to their own places of center. They are tuning in and listening to themselves. To leave behind the stress and activity of busy schedules, a change of pace is needed. There are several techniques people use to free themselves from tension and stress to begin centering.
*** Closing eyes directs thoughts away from the outside to the inside where the center is.
*** With closed eyes, people can focus on their own breathing and concentrate on slowing it down.
*** With eyes closed, people can focus on relaxing the muscles in their bodies in one area at a time
sequentially beginning with the feet and moving to the head or proceeding from head to feet.
*** If the group is outside in a beautiful natural setting, with eyes closed each person can focus on the sounds in the environment.
*** If the group is inside, with eyes closed each person can focus on quiet, soothing instrumental music played on a cassette tape player.
*** With eyes closed and holding hands, people can softly hum a peaceful tune familiar to everyone.
Centered people are peaceful people.
Once people share this kind of peace, their lives begin to change.
Centering + Visualization
Centering can be taken a step further than being a stress-free condition through a process called "visualization." Visualization employs the natural gift of imagination which is part of the creative abilities all people possess. It is a skill similar to photographic memory which enables people to see the image of whatever they wish to remember with their eyes closed. In visualization, the difference is that people create an image in their "mind's eye" much like a painter creates a picture of something unknown on a canvas.
If people feel they are unable to image through imagination, one way to begin might be to sit comfortably, become centered and then, with eyes open, study an object in sight. After a while, close the eyes and, without tension, bring the image studied into focus in the imagination. This can be repeated with the same object until the eyes-closed image is remembered clearly. Next choose an object that is not in sight. With eyes closed and remaining centered, create an image in the "mind's eye" of the object not present. If necessary, repeat this creative step until the natural ability to image or visualize has been restored.
Visualizing can deepen the centering process and enable people to remain in balance for longer periods of time. Remaining balanced, peaceful and readily creative throughout a meeting can bring about the conditions which support rewarding communication.
Centering and visualization can further rewarding communication by helping people:
Proceed in an atmosphere of peace and trust;
Remain focused on the larger, more comprehensive goals of the group;
Remember that everyone present is working for the same things;
Remind themselves that differences can offer richness instead of contention.
The centering/visualization process can begin or end a group meeting by having:
* Silence after centering during which individuals create their own independent visualizations.
* Recorded peaceful music playing while individuals center and create their own visualizations.
* One group member speaks to center and guide the group through a unifying visualization related the group purpose. (This may be accompanied by recorded soft instrumental music.)
* If the group is small, one at a time, in a pre-designated sequence, with eyes closed each person can speak a
suggestion to add to the visualization (option: soft background music).
The centering/visualization process can also be used during a meeting.
* If a group becomes stressed and begins to drift away from center, one group member can call for "time out" and have everyone stop, become centered and engage in a brief period of visualization. This visualization might focus on seeing everyone satisfied after the contention has been resolved. If everyone believes a
peaceful outcome is possible, then an atmosphere of goodwill and cooperation can result making the
resolution process go more smoothly.
* Visualization can be employed to bring forth creative ideas when a group project seems "stuck" or when new ideas are needed. Inventors and scientists use visualization for this purpose.
Check-In
Often in a formal meeting, after the call to order, a roll call is taken whereby each member in attendance informs the group that she or he is present. The Check-in process is similar to a roll call, but it goes beyond acknowledging physical attendance. During Check-in, each person in sequence briefly describes his or her current physical, emotional and mental states. Thus each person is essentially answering roll call with his or her whole self. By having group members totally present at meetings, discussions can stay "on track", be more productive and take less time.
Before the Check-in process starts, the group needs to determine:
* The sequence in which people speak
This can be decided by the seating arrangement. If the group is sitting in a circle, the sequence can move in one direction around the circle until everyone has spoken. If someone enters the circle during Check-in and is by-passed by the sequence, then that person can speak after everyone has finished.
* The individual who begins
This person may differ at each meeting. When first working with this process at the beginning of a meeting, the starting person could be the one who reminds people to keep their statements focused on their personal feelings and ideas, omitting statements about things, events and other people. As well as keeping the group focused on the Check-in theme, the starting person may need to remind listeners to refrain from questions or comments until after Check-in. The starting person can also ensure that everyone has an opportunity to Check-in.
* The theme of the Check-in
The theme decides the focus for the group members' personal thoughts and feelings. To bring people fully present, focus on how they are feeling at the moment.
By having Check-in as a part of each meeting after centering and visualization, group members learn to speak from their place of center. As the Check-in periods continue, everyone begins to appreciate and understand the unique qualities of the group. People feel more free to express their deeper ideas and feelings. The group members begin to feel safe enough to express their creativity. They begin to experience a deeper sense of commitment to the purpose of the group. Attitudes and energy for the task at hand become heightened. The group can begin to function as a caring, energetic family.
Also group members benefit individually. The opportunity not only to express personal thoughts and feelings, but also to have them listened to by others, allows people to feel respected and their self-esteem raises. The possibility for contention greatly diminishes when people feel good about themselves. By learning to operate from center, individuals can enrich other areas of their lives.
* Check-in Promotes Deep Listening
Check-in time provides an opportunity to learn to listen deeply. Deep Listening is possible when people have cleared their minds of all distractions and focus their hearts and attention completely on the person speaking without thinking about any responses whatsoever. The deep listener's purpose is to learn pure listening.
WHEN DEEP LISTENING BECOMES A NATURAL PART OF THE WAY PEOPLE INTERACT,
THEN MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING, TRUST AND REWARDING COMMUNICATION FLOURISH EVEN WHEN DIFFERENCES ARISE
Making Choices
(the working/business part of the meeting)
During this part of the meeting the group makes choices which determine action.
Usually this portion of the meeting covers old business first and then new business.
The purpose of the centering/visualization and Check-in processes is to give group members the opportunity to gather together their own personal resources so they can make choices to result in action which can smoothly and
successfully carry out the group purpose.
The working part of the meeting is most productive when group members can use all their natural thinking abilities contained in both hemispheres of their brains.
Right Brain Functions Left Brain Functions
Creativity All verbal skills
Kinesthetic awareness Analyzing
Pattern recognition Using logic
When left brain functions dominate the working part of the meeting, people tend to drift away from center, become tense and less productive. If right brain functions are also included, then choices can be made in a more balanced manner.
Suggestions for making balanced choices:
Check-in can be used to clarify confusion about a complex matter being discussed. One group member can call for a "Check-in". Then each person in sequence can explain their understanding and feelings about the issue at hand. After such a Check-in, misunderstandings can be more easily defined and resolved.
Check-in can be used to assist the process of consensus. Each person in sequence can express his or her positive and negative views about the matter under consideration.
Centering, a reminder about deep listening and then a Check-in can allow people equal opportunity to express their feelings about an issue before it reaches contention.
When ideas seem to stop coming and it seems that fatigue has taken over, have group members center and enjoy a few minutes of gentle rhythmic breathing. This, accompanied by a visualization of being in a beautiful place, can be a refreshing activity.
When creativity lags, group members can center and individually create solutions during a period of self-guided visualization. These ideas can be written down silently afterwards while waiting for others to complete their process.
If a group is looking for ideas about how to proceed with a project in a completely new way, then a question can be thoughtfully formed. When it is agreed the question is phrased to bring forth the solutions they are seeking, then group members can close their eyes. After centering and then focusing on the question, each person can visualize a personal inner coach who represents a creative part of each person. Then, using deep listening, each person concentrates on hearing responses from their own inner coach. When people feel they have something to say to the group, they can speak out remaining centered with eyes closed. The centering process is maintained until everyone feels complete.
VISUALIZATION ALLOWS PEOPLE TO SEE THINGS IN A DIFFERENT WAY.
Suggestions for Keeping a Meeting Balanced
Important Member Roles
For a well coordinated meeting, members might consider having four roles filled:
a FOCALIZER who keeps the group on task;
a SCRIBE who records the proceedings;
a TIME-KEEPER who reminds the group about time allowance; and
a KEEPER OF THE HEART who sees that everyone stays centered. Different people each meeting can fulfill these roles.
The Talking Stick
Find an object easily held in one hand (a stone, a feather, a pencil. etc) to be the talking stick. The group needs to decide how the talking stick will be passed. Either the person talking can decide to whom to pass it or, to be more fair, the group can decide to pass it in a certain sequence. Only the person holding the talking stick speaks. Everyone else listens. When everything the talker wants to share has been said, then the talking stick is passed to another person. If a person has nothing to say then he/she may pass on the stick. Indigenous peoples use this process so everyone has an equal chance to speak. It benefits the group in that shy people with valuable ideas are given an opportunity to express themselves and those who are quick to speak have the opportunity to learn the value of listening.
The Clearing Process
If dissention arises, this process "clears the air." It is based on the ideas that diversity is richness and everyone has unique contributions to make. Clearing works best one to one when two dissenters clear in private using an optional moderator or not. In a group, the Clearing Process works best after everyone centers. An optional visualization of a world in which everyone is valued the same and there are no inequalities could be offered. The time available should be free of limits. Everyone must agree that anything said will never be passed on to others not present or used against the dissenters. Each involved dissenter has an opportunity to speak with the talking stick. When speaking, all sentences should be "I" sentences ("I believe", "I heard", "I think", etc.) so that personal responsibility is made clear. Others remain centered and use deep listening. After each dissenter has spoken once, the stick is passed again so each can express anything that came up after hearing the other dissenter/s. The stick is passed until each dissenter feels he or she has expressed everything relevant. The talking stick can then be passed to people who have been deep listening to summarize what they understand is at the root of the dissention. Still using the talking stick, the dissenters can express what they believe is a fair settlement. Remaining centered the resolution can be made either by the dissenters alone or with the help of those deep listening.
Constructing a Resolution
The object of this process is to move dissenters away from a "stuck" position and towards a win/win solution. The dissenters need to agree to having a moderator who will ask the questions. Each dissenter will respond before going on to the next question. This is best done while everyone is centered and observers are deep listening. The questions may be repeated until the root of the issue comes to the surface. The questions are:
* What is it you really want ?
* What is it that you are truly worried about ?
* What do you feel should happen now ?
Moderator and listeners can help the dissenters identify values which they share in common. From these values a win/win resolution can be constructed.
Closing a Meeting
The way a meeting ends can influence the level of enthusiasm, cooperation and participation that will be maintained between meetings and the attendance at future meetings.
Summary
After the old and new business agenda items have been completed or postponed, the agenda needs to be set for the next meeting. This can be done by reviewing what was covered at the present meeting and then discussing what needs to be done next. Also, the date, time and place of the next meeting needs to be decided.
Task Check-in
The Check-in process can be used for people to summarize the tasks they will complete before the next meeting. This process ensures that everyone speaks and those who realize they have more to do than they have time to accomplish can recruit assistance.
A Closing Activity
When people leave a meeting with a feeling of wanting to return, then the group goals will be more easily accomplished and, more importantly, group members will feel good about themselves. A closing activity can be brief, but uplifting. Group members can take turns in guiding the closing at different meetings. This also provides group members with an opportunity to share their cultural heritage.
A Song or Folk Dance
A short uplifting song or folk dance can be done in a circle either positioning arms on neighbor's shoulders or with hands being held.
A Group Hug
In a circle and positioning arms on neighbor's shoulders one by one each person can call out a quality they wish the group members to experience before the next meeting, i.e. "I wish you peace."
A Candle Ceremony
A lighted candle is passed around to each person one at a time. As the individual holds the candle, either silently or out loud he or she makes a promise. The promise can be general such as, "I promise to treat everyone with loving respect." or the promise can be specific such as, "I make a commitment to do my very best to accomplish my tasks before the next meeting." Before the ceremony begins one individual or the group can decide on a theme for the statements.
Visualizations
* Individually imagine successfully completing the group task.
* A guided visualization about how successful completion of the group task will bring about change.
* After group centering, one by one each person speaks his or her name. During the pause following, group members visualize the named person surrounded with love. Music enhances this.
Achieving Group Goals
Group goals may be achieved more easily when:
* All group members receive the kind of mutual respect which guides them to a deep level of participation and to the development of their potential.
* Everyone takes personal responsibility for completing their own part of a task while at the same time maintaining an awareness of the roles of others.
* Individual experience and knowledge become useful group resources.
* Each person has equal authority within the group. Leaders guide rather than dictate.
* Group members focus on what is being done, not who is doing it.
* Each work phase has a coordinator to maintain focus, observe progress and keep communication flowing among participants.
* All group members consciously and continuously maintain a relationship of trust, cooperation and open communication.
* Group members visualize successful completion of their group goals often.
* There is continuous seeking out and resolving of fears, attitudes and beliefs that prevent smooth, rewarding group progress.
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